christ666's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Without any sort of judgement I'm working very hard to keep my spirits up after a good ten days without anxiety. Talking with Starla helped lift a large weight off of my shoulders, and reminded me I always have somebody to go to for help. I've been reluctant to chronicle my gradual slip into insanity, but I feel like if there were ever a point where I'm back to my normal self, I could look upon these entries as a reminder that I was able to manage this disorder. I might have to visit a new psychologist, but I don't want to give the impression that the one I'm seeing didn't help. He was the first one to be very polite and respectful, without any sort of judgement. However, I'm not getting the skills and tools I need for when I spike. We're even going to continue filming our latest flick on Saturday, which is hard to believe. For a while, I figured it would become like the rest of our projects... forgotten. And with the cast's positive attitudes, I was sort of motivated to pull out an old project from a couple years ago. I just might film 100 Roses. We were on the cusp of starting that project a while ago, but it sort of fell apart quickly. All my heart and soul for that film disappeared, and I moved on to different things. I never edited Geeks, and my filmwriting was on standby. I tried writing the DOD script with Mike but that fell through as well. I couldn't keep writing anymore. I felt spent on my writing energy. But, thankfully I got inspiration to write one more short comedy, which became the film we're doing now. After that, I wrote my first full length script in almost three years. Now here we are, and I'm getting back in touch with that giddy little filmmaker inside of me. This really has been a slow road to recovery, but I sometimes identify with things about my personality that I had forgotten. I feel comfort in that. I have to log off now, but I'll continue later. By the way, watch MILK. One of the greatest movies ever. 6:21 p.m. - 2009-03-23 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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