christ666's Diaryland Diary

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eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die

I think I might have some fun with this. This makes me seem like the biggest hypocrit, but I can live with that. It's been too long, and I want to type.

Last entry: I believe it was the beginning of January when I made my last entry. What has happened since then....

Well, for starters, My band, the greatest and best band in the world, performed a show, which sort of proved my right choiced for my band mates. Granted Phil Rappacon is not our drummer, but he is replaced with the greatest drummer in the world, Calvin Countryman. We have been working on "My Serenity", which I have now decided I'm going to change to "Muse". The song's title is always mistakenly mixed with the horrible Godsmack song "Serenity", I won't have to worry about that. We started the basics of it, the drum beat, some of the structure, and we've added some violin parts to it. Steve has got his bass lines down, which doesn't at all surprise me. He is a talented soul, it figures that he learns quickly. Even if he is the biggest asshole. I want to work with Steph on the song, but I know she's busy with the spring play. She informed me that she will be leaving us in a couple of years to do broadway, which I'm kind of bummed about. But you gotta do what the heart tells you. For a short time, I was dealing with writer's block, which has been my kryptonite for some time. I have finally broken down this wall, and have been able to write non stop. I'm coming up with much more ideas and melodies. I have awesome additions to the songs I have now, and even greater new songs. I want so badly to show everyone else, when we get the time. By the way, if you are reading this Calvin, I was hoping that maybe when Steve and Steph are gone to New York and Becky is at all state, you and I can work together, if you are not to busy or if you want to. I talked to James and he was cool about it, as long as we tell him. I have much excitement for where this band is heading.

The musical was ok. I don't miss it at all. Now I know some of you are thinking, "not even kissing two girls, three times a night, for 6 days!" but I assure you, nothing can be further from my mind. Don't be mistaken, as much fun as I did have, I figure that I would rather have been practicing with the band. I have been getting a lot of attention from the musical. A lot of the ladies are all into the character. But only that. The character is all they are attracted to, and they lie if they say otherwise.

I was thinking about Annabelle Green, and I want to start a fundraiser. Even if it is sort of late and last minute, I would like to put on a show at the high school, and all ticket sales go to her. It would be just an acoustical evening with me and Steve, playing our songs, and a couple of covers. If we got enough people to go, I'm sure it would be really cool. I would say the whole band, but I'm worried that the band would be ready in such short notice. I think that it would go well, if we got the support of the community.

Steph and I are well over. I've moved on and I think she has too. We are friends now which is pretty cool. I don't feel remorse or hatred, which I think helps me see that our current relationship has matured. She's in Kansas right now, looking at a college.

I guess since this is a diary, and I should complain some what, I've been feeling down. Really down. I guess a lot of things have been sort of the cause. A revelation of friendship, a lack of friendship, a fear of friendship. I was a little upset that Steph won't be doing the band anymore, I feel like I'm losing a soulmate. I became sort of distraught with a friend of mine. She's two months pregnant, and she never told me. I'm not asking to be the first person told, but I felt a little left out when everyone around me knew, but I didn't. One of my best friends in the entirest world, is suffering several family problems. A sick father and a possible terminal sister. I don't know how to keep him up anymore. I tell him that she's going to be fine, and that it's probably nothing. I hope it's just that. Keeping the positive outlook has become a difficult task indeed.

But in lighter news, she's doing far much better, his dad is recovering, I get to be another uncle to my friend's baby, my band has high hopes, my writing is improving, I'm going to see Dave Matthews Band in September with two of my best friends in the world, Steve and my sister Kim, and I met a very interesting lady. I say that a lot, but you have to try everything once right?

For enlightening words, I feel blue and down a lot, I feel disoriented and clouded, but I know that things are going to be fine. It's like a comforting blanket that I'm wrapped in. There is always a positive to every negative. For all of suicidal tendencies, your time of death will come when it wants. Why make a preamptive strike? You have the rest of your life to experience the better day. Everybody loves you, I love you, and all you need is love.

Hedwig: I love you

-Flower

4:46 p.m. - 2004-03-14

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