christ666's Diaryland Diary

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a short description of this entry for the \"older links\" page:

i don't regret it, i... i just feel so lonely. it's like every other minute something else happens, and i can't breathe. maybe i just have to find a way, but i can't... breathe... like i did in idaho. who would have thought? i have a lot of hurt inside that i can't put a finger on. i know what all the hurt is, but it's useless. it's the kind of hurt that will hurt you either way. the kind of hurt that once you find out about it, you can't change it to what it was. i wish i was so prone to getting hurt. i wish i was immune. i guess then, i would be numb. no, i don't want that. i want... peace. i want to be completely of sound mind, and heart. my heart hurts a lot. i would go through all this hurt over and over again for her. but, why put me through it? it's not like she's intentionally hurting, i'm just to fucked up in my own to let things roll over. but, who wouldn't respond the same way? and why is it so important? what makes this thing so important to fight for? what makes it so damn much of a priority that you have to argue your way to keep it? and why can't i just let it go? hmm... if love was so perfect... why do i hurt so much? is it me?

1:06 a.m. - 2006-05-24

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