christ666's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve did not show me his penis once, the whole time he was here

I'm usually a lot better about updating this thing.

I hit a bump in the road, and I got writer's block, or... writer's boredom. But I got past it and the new script is coming along nicely. Slowly, but nicely. I give it a good month of writing, and I'll be ready for my second draft. It's hard to come up with your own ideas. You start to just throw shit from nowhere. Character A needs a to do something with character B. Maybe they'll have a pretzel in Italy, whilst listening to the soothing sounds of Tom Waits, drinking motor oil, mistaken for Kahlua. Okay, maybe not that bad, but still, it's hard. Especially hard to write something you have no idea what you're going to use it for. Sometimes I worry that I'm wasting my time. But every single living person does that. So I'll just stop here.

More realizations beginning to surface. Like my realization that I'm not close with my sister anymore. It seemed like we used to have this connection, but it disappeared. She's becoming something different, and I'm getting older. More independent. Yet, I'm so dependent on everything I left at home. Strange. Another realization, some of my close friends will probably never be my friends again, and other close friends are simply through with me. And then there are friends that I just don't know about. Like the friend that you actually dated and after you split up, you'd promise to be friends afterwards, and either you just don't talk, or he/she ignores your calls. Or the friend that you promised to keep in touch with, but failed to do so, and everyone seems to know about his/her success except you. That one kind of sucked. I had to hear that Steph got into Cornish from Steve, who happened to be nearby when she was telling another friend over the phone. It's hard to process these realizations, and accept them. It's hard to just let go. I mean, it's always hard to do something you don't want to do. But it's especially hard to give up on something that just makes sense. Yet here I am, in Plano, Texas. I haven't made one friend, excluding friends of Jess, who I don't even hang with outside of Jess. The only friend who calls is Steve. Everyone once in a while, I'll call everyone else to say hey. But, that's not really enough. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes I don't know what to say. Sometimes I'm just waiting on their call back.

Speaking of Steve, we didn't have a bad time together. Batting cages, Movies, awkward romances...err...or lack therof. Good times Scuba... good times indeed.

Work is getting harder. I'm tired of health care. I need something a little more bland. Less death, and hostility.

Current music favorites... Tom Waits, Trivium, Strapping Young Lad, Thelonious Monk, and The Who.

-Flower

3:58 a.m. - 2007-04-05

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next

latest entry

about me

archives

notes

DiaryLand

contact

random entry

other diaries:

littleafrob
hey-mike-e
naima101
mamaloza
slim1
obliviusgurl
toddbooboo
camiandvol-2
sundance-99
talkingmoon
drdavin
olydux
shwroder
twistedtears
punkigurli
earnest-dunn
camiand
ramoman
bagelbite
allmytears
kibitzer
t-gnosis
namerman
oralboy
myagi
princesjazmo
nelapsi