christ666's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- McCartney Well, I haven't written an entry in a long time. Most of my updates comes from whatever ramblings I'll put into Myspace. But I have something that I want to say, and for fear of jeapordizing a person I care about, and their chance to be free of court ramifications, I have to come here. A place I know only a select few read. It comes down to this. In November, a woman who I've known for at least a decade has come back into my life in a way I've never imagined before. She's best friends with my sister, and the whole relationship between her and I was nothing more than a mutual acquaintance. Though she seemed fun, and had a bright personality... I never thought beyond what I seemed was the practical reality of her and I. She was always Jody's best friend. She got married to a man with a good personality, but a lack of knowledge on how to treat a woman. I don't feel guilt that I'm falling for her. She's divorcing him, and he had five years to make her happy. He had his chance. Don't misinterpret the situation, however. Divorce had come up long before me, and with her position in life being unsatisfactory as it would for any woman, she went with her instinct. Let me walk you through it. November came, and we attended a birthday party for my sister at a bar. At this point, we had probably spoken a mere four conversations our entire time knowing each other. But we got along, and it seemed the last couple days we were able to carry on conversations that didn't sound forced. She asked me to dance with her if her song came on. And it did. And... for those that know me... dancing is not something I do. I get uncomfortable, and choose to sit as still as possible. But for whatever reason, I had to dance with her. For whatever reason, I wanted to be close to her. We danced. And it was obvious to anyone around that we had chemistry. It was a mix of sexuality, emotion, confusion, etc. That night she realized she was having fun without her husband. It was confusing for all of us. And we spent the following couple weeks trying to get back to our normal lives. And in the end, she chose her husband. She told her husband the truth, that she danced with another man. She told him that she wanted to be loved and adored, and she said she wanted him to be that person. What happened after does not matter, but it was then that she decided she could not be with a man like him. He said hurtful things, and threatened to take away their daughter. For a time, she was unsure whether she made the right decision. She couldn't comprehend the choice she made. And because I felt like I could be the guy she was looking for, I had to step up and tell her that if it made her happy... she should get back with her husband. She deserves happiness. But with her husband's immaturity, she felt confident she made the right choice. And I'm happy to say he did not take their daughter away. They're together now as we speak. :) By the way, she has two gorgeous children. Both eight, and both seem to love their mother very much. She is an amazing mother. One of her many beautiful traits. And so, with the divorce pending... I thought there might have been a chance. When we danced, it was the first time I looked at her with affectionate eyes. And now it all seemed to make sense, that I wanted to be with her. And it seems, my dancing with her was what set her free from a life she didn't have to have. We've spent the last couple months getting to know each other. And the more and more I know about her, the more and more perfect she is. And the more and more sense it makes the we belong together. This diary is evidence enough that I get infatuated easily, and I do. But... nothing has exhilerated more than her. I've never found myself completely lost in another person's eyes. We spend four to five hours a night talking, and I always crave more. I've never needed to know a person's perspective and opinion like I do her's. I just want to probe her mind, and know her inside and out. I've never been so enamored with another person that I literally think about them every hour of every day. She's perfect. We're perfect. I know this like I know myself. She's almost through with her divorce. Her family seems very warm to me, and I get along great with her mother. She's moving to a new home, starting her new life. I'm scared because things are going so fast and hard emotionally, but I won't put the brakes on. For some reason, everything is comfortable. More comfortable than it's ever been before. Her and I have been through a lot already, but one thing that has remained constant is that we've never stopped feeling how we feel about each other. It feels like I'm living the romantic films I've so long adored. I'm falling for a twenty-six year old married woman with two kids, who embodies everything I've looked for in another person. Beautiful inside and out... And... nothing has made more sense. I'm nothing but excited to see where this takes me, and hope it goes all the way. But something inside me tells me it will. I'm crazy about her. And she wants to go to a comic-con with me. How could you not fall in love with that? I've found my happiness. :) 4:11 p.m. - 2008-01-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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