christ666's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Love it or hate it, but mostly hate it... I marveled at the rare suberb which had a little hint of down-home goodness, even though it was surrounded by neiborhoods that were more of the slum category. An area of houses only ten years old, the streets were lit with charming yellow streetlamps as well as the subtle glow that radiated from the windows of homes. It was a curious place, being such a beautiful landmark in a rather ugly part of Boise. Sven and I circled around the roads until we identified our destination with the help of the crowded mass of cars parked all over. It was a nice house in retrospect. Not too glorified with all the aesthetic details of the upperclass, but unique enough to make me feel a twinge of jealousy as I compared it to the shithole apartment I lived in. Already, I was beginning to feel the anxiety I get from overpopulated settings. There were plenty of people that I didn't know, and one thing that definitely set me apart from Sven was the fact that I despised meeting new people. It wasn't just the fear of being judged on first impression, but rather a pomposity that I carried with me as I felt everyone I met who I hadn't befriended was simply moronic. Sven never appreciated this aspect of my personality, but he never held it against me. He just took whatever possible new friends I could have had and kept them for himself. Walking up the driveway, I noticed two men talking to a young woman, each holding a red dixie cup full of what I could only assume was some neanderthal beer like Keystone or Bud Lite. Immediately, I judged them as a couple of douchebags trying to score an inebriaated threeway with a girl who thought too much of herself. Alas, I become the victor of all I survey, forgetting for a brief moment of all my inadequacies. The crowd of people I did recognize slowly began to filter through the rest as we entered the home. From what I understood, it was divided by four or five people that we had gone to high school with, some of which I didn't care too much for. Andrew was varsity on the Boise State football team, though the amount of plays in his three year run at the school remains at zero. However, this doesn't stop him from bathing in the remaining spotlight that his teammates earn, and enjoys the attention he gets from women. He reminds me of a professional boxer that has lost every match in his career, but still talks a lot of shit. Kevin was a law student, a linguistics master, and everything else that I'm not. He is a bastard for his success. I remembered thinking of a curse in my head, and then hoping to telepathically make it happen. But most of the time I was reminded of what a great guy Kevin is, what a smart guy Kevin is, how magnificent Kevin's size is... It was probably safe to assume I've developed an inferiority complex. I didn't quite know James, or Mariah, although I do remember thinking that she was a bitch during these teen years. There was, however, Morgan. Her and I got along as strangers might, only having small talk to share and maybe a couple smiles from recognizing each other. She never knew this, but a crush had begun to take hold of me not long after we had met. Of course, she was unattainable, much the same way royalty is to the lower class. We were of two different social networks, hers full of beautiful tools and absent-minded individuals, and ours full of brilliantly dull losers whose talent could never make up for their awkwardness. But I didn't stop dreaming of the impossible moment of kissing those perfect lips, framed by her beautiful, long brown hair. Sure, she never really enjoyed being around me too long and always seemed to be busy when I mentioned hanging out. She was polite, and maybe at the same time, patronizing. Kindly brushing me off the way a teacher does to an enamored student. Sven immediately found Leaf and Anthony standing near the table carrying the beverages. Leaf was our age, from our class, as well as from our network. Anthony was a few years younger than us, but fit right in with our distasteful humor and political values. "Did you get my text?" Sven asked. Leaf nodded, "Yeah, I almost forgot the fucker." He pulled out a corncob pipe from the pocket of his military jacket and handed it Sven. Anthony looked at me in surprise. "What the fuck are you doing here?" "I'm wondering that myself," I replied. "How does this environment help your demophobia, you fucking hermit?" "I thought I'd give the attendees a story to take home with them after I shit on the living room carpet." "Well at least we'll be going out in class," he chuckled. I turned to Leaf while fumbling for my cigarettes in my coat. "How's school?" I hated asking this as it was a constant reminder that I wasn't getting my degree. "Mostly good. Struggling with MicroEcon." Was everybody in the world more successful than me? Mariah approached Sven, starting up conversation. As he was eager to be friends with anybody, she seemed to accept his status as a geek and talked with him anyway. I searched through the collection of domestic beer, and after finding nothing looked for the nearest bottle of bourbon. I had to settle for vodka. I poured myself a dixie cup and observed Sven's behaviour with this foreign diplomat of the "in crowd." "Glad you could make it," she told him. I wanted to claw her evil eyes out. 4:23 a.m. - 2009-08-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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