christ666's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Resolutions? I've hit the brick wall in the night shift and feel unable to stay awake. So I thought I'd take this moment to update my diary which apparently is something I haven't done in over 80 days. Pretty amazing to think how fast this thing gets neglected to the least priority list. As I look across the hall and see a patient's scrotum, hanging in a depressing sag to the bed, I think to myself how I'm not feeling accomplished as of late. I've let a lot slip by the last few months and I'm starting to regret it. I'm finally playing music again, and I feel proud for my contributions to the effort, but I found myself wanting to do more. I've given a lot of thought to some goals that I'd like to reach this year, so I suppose this really is a declaration of belated resolutions for the new year. I grimace at the idea of new year resolutions because I don't think I've actually made one as an adult. And putting an absolute to these goals gives me a strong feeling of angst due to my common habit of not finishing stuff I've started, a habit I've babbled repeatedly about before. But, it doesn't hurt to be optimistic for a change, because things are starting to turn for the better. I am going to be celebrating my third year with Starla, including our wedding in August, and I've taken on much more responsibility financially to give myself more confidence at being the mature 24 year old I'm supposed to be. I'd like to finish my book that I've slowly been writing the past year. Up to the fifth chapter, I've lazily plotted out the rest of the narrative and hopefully with enough will power, it could be done. I also would like to film at least one of my favorite short films, One Hundred Roses, for a chance to really discover if this flick business is truly a calling. But before that, true preparation must be made if I'm to comfortably pull together a project of that caliber. And lastly, and most easily, I'd like to get back into drawing, and maybe painting. It's long been since I've pulled out a pencil and sketched some bullshit on a piece of paper, but I always feel a sense of pride when I finish something and it would be good to get that feeling back again. The shift has hit under the two hour mark, so hopefully the night will prove to be swift when seven o clock rolls around so I can go home to shower and masturbate vigorously. I must say, I do feel some momentum brewing inside. But that could be just my excitement over my morning jerkoff. 4:34 a.m. - 2011-01-03 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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