christ666's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you for listening to kevindevindy kpp1 103.3 fm ding I was successful in getting a lot accomplished tonight. I finally finished all of the 8bit versions of the tracks on the EP, and hopefully we'll get those made for the first 50 people who buy the cd. I was surprised at how much I didn't want to work on that particular task considering how fascinated I was with the software when I first downloaded it. I had completed three songs with enthusiasm and excitement and yet the last two were met with disdain and hesitation. The task can be arduous but the result ends up being so much fun. Regardless, I can wash my hands of it. I'm considering creating a theme song for the podcast with the chiptune tracker but I think a lot of pods already use such an intro. Of course, I wouldn't know what to do instead. The band booked our first show for the year with relative ease. Our rapport with The Venue has been beneficial considering we were just asked to open for a couple well known death metal bands. We're even considering the possibility of signing with a festival this year down in San Francisco, around the area where Trevor grew up. Financially, I'm a little worried, but a trip down to the Cali coast with the group sounds like a fucking blast. The bay area, being known for it's involvement in the thrash legacy, would be a killer place to play. I should be planning on some workouts this week, as one of my goals for the year is getting into the habit of exercising at least three times a week. Not knowing where to start is a weak excuse for not following through, so I guess I should just get my head out of my ass. I've been thinking a lot about sex lately. Not so much wanting to have it... I mean, besides thinking about wanting to have it as that's on the back of my mind every waking moment. I've been more thinking about my history without and how my perceptions have changed over the years, like my feelings on infidelity or uncomfort at a person's history. I'm not talking about a relaxed mindset of me cheating on my wife, but rather comparing how I used to be disgusted with people who had sleep with someone other than their spouse and how I now avoid holding that against a person. Even up until I was 19 or 20, I was judging anyone, including a future girlfriend about their experiences with this particular issue. Don't get me wrong, someone cheats on me, and I'm shitting on their car seat in a heart beat. (<---Rhyme!!) I was once the involved in such a fiasco without my knowledge of it. A girl I was pseudo-dating at the time had spent plenty of nights over at my apartment, something that I began to feel guilty about considering her desires for a romantic relationship and my lack of interest in such talk. So when I tell her that we need to be friends and nothing more, she tells me that she's had a boyfriend this entire time. I suppose this is different than other instances of cheating. Where one person might have it happen once, this lady was consistently, and without hesitation, fucking me as if she were devoid of any emotional attachment to another. Obviously, things were strange considering her romantic feelings towards me, but doesn't that seem more fucked up considering she knew she wanted a different relationship than the one she had, but kept this guy around for a reason I can't fathom? I also don't know that elements involved in their situation, so I can't claim to have any right to judge, but it still seems odd. I think that stuck with me a couple years and was the reason I was particularly harsh with a girl I was to date. I would take back my resentment if I could, but of course, there are so many things I would love to take back for sake of not causing any grief or annoyance. But, without those shortcomings, it wouldn't have led to my marriage. Shit, thinking about mistakes in the past contradicts my mention of looking towards the present and future, doesn't it? Ah, well... thinking about stuff like this can be fun, especially when forcing yourself to dig into your memories and type them according to exact detail. Perhaps I'll write of more memories that were fond, or hated. It's nice to be honest with a diary, and use it for it's purpose. Remember to download the pod at Manhugs.libsyn.com. A new episode will be out next week! 5:33 a.m. - 2012-01-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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