christ666's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am step parent to two teenagers.... fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu This will be the fourth attempt at writing an entry today, after over a year of inactivity. The last remaining link to my teenage years, aside from Steven, that is. I come back here, usually to see if anybody else has updated. I pretend like I don't care, but I do. I'm curious to know what goes on in the lives of people I used to be close to. Granted, there were probably only two or three on my buddy list that continued to post beyond 2005, and of those people, the most recent entry was dated November of 2014, so it seems the last few reasons I've had to return have finally moved on. Yet, here I am. Still wanting to cling to one last inkling of nostalgia while trying to pretend I've grown in the almost 15 years writing in this fucking box. Which is bigger than the last time I posted... Things are much less dark than when I last wrote. My wife and I were going through a pretty turbulent patch in our marriage, one that through understanding and (actual) conversation, we were able to get things back on track, and right now things are great. We speak more openly to each other than we ever have, and share a lot more moments together, no matter how uneventful. It's been a major testament to the both of us that we've been able to articulate our concerns and emotions, without succumbing to judgement or resentment. We still have our moments, but it never feels dire like it used to. Everything is pretty complacent. I mean, as far as our romantic life. Her kids are now both teenagers. Katie is starting to live with us full time, having become estranged from her shitbag dad. The guy has manipulated and bullied her to the point her counselor (that he insisted she see) advised her to live with us. Lots of reasonable discipline and adult conversation, but most importantly, positive and level-headed thinking, has helped bring her self esteem and confidence back. Noah, on the other hand, is still struggling to find his place as a teenager. After his dad started a physical confrontation with him, and I forbade him from ever speaking to his son again, Noah has come to a place of unambitious content and is finding difficulty appropriately venting his anger. There are moments he's disrespectful, and moments where he disobeys. I'm usually able to get him to see why his behavior is unacceptable, and get him to sincerely apologize, but sometimes it's a struggle to get him to understand personal responsibility. I've blamed myself a lot for encouraging his relationship with his father as much as I did, unaware the kind of twisted, alpha male shit he tried to pass on to his kid. But, I can't dwell on what was, but focus on what is. And right now, I'm just trying to be constant with him, show him that he's got people in the house that love and care for him, but are unafraid of raising him to be a well adjusted and productive human being. There are other things going on, but my shift is about to end, and having spent so many entries on the negatives that affect me, I'd like to keep this a little more simple. Maybe... there will be a next time. 4:54 a.m. - 2016-01-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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