christ666's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Altar Table Since a lot of the furniture in the living room is going with Hailey, I've been on the hunt for replacement items, but I'm so terrible with home decorating that I can't come up with any ideas, and my brain feels too overwhelmed to search through every option online. So overwhelmed, in fact, that I've been putting it off the last few weeks, even though by Friday next week, the kids won't have a couch to sit on, or a console table to climb on top and jump off of. Today, however, I happened to discover a craigslist ad for an altar table from Japan that would be perfect for the living room, and I got a hookup on a couch set from a friend of my mom's. It's taken a bit of stress off my mind, and I'm actually getting a little excited to make the house my own again. I'm getting anxious about the kids being away from the house. Lucas has been having meltdowns every time I drop the kids off to Hailey's work before band practice, and hearing that dude cry is like feeling my soul being gutted. Sophie has been having separation anxiety every time Hailey stays late after work, and sometimes it can be hard to talk her down. I hope I know what I'm doing. I keep overanalyzing every choice I make with the kids, worrying whether I'm doing the right thing or taking care of them the right way. The band was asked to headline an all local show at the Knitting Factory in January, so I guess our winter hiatus is over. I should be happy, seeing as how I've been bored and depressed with no projects going on the last few weeks, but when I went to band practice last night, I had a hard time finding any joy in playing. Stuck in my head and dwelling on bullshit too much. It's also hard to be excited about playing the Knit again, even though it's been almost ten years since we've been on that stage. I don't know. I'm hoping the thrill of playing a big venue will hit me again so I can actually look forward to a show for a change. There's so much to take care of, but a lot I can't do because of interfering circumstances, and this idling situation is driving me a little crazy. The movers come next Friday. After that, I can begin putting things back together and try taking control of my life again. 9:18 p.m. - 2022-12-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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