christ666's Diaryland Diary

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Bitchslap

Hey everybody,

Thanks for all of your input, but for those who have held back on advice because I didn't want to hear it, please tell.

suisilent99.signmyguestbook.com

And as a final solution to the whole thing last night, I did the unthinkable. Before you judge on what it is, please understand first, that I am better than what I thought. Not to sound conceited or anything, and I've got to reach for what I want. And what I need. Elizibeth is one of things I want, but not need. Steve planned on asking her out last night, and I encouraged him. In fact, I knocked on the fucking door. Now, I think, 100% honestly, that they are very great for each other. It was the right thing to do I thought, Steve is the sweetest guy in world, and for her to miss and oppurtunity with him is absurd. I'm very proud of him to ask her.

I'll move on, in fact, I'll skip on. With a bright smile on my face. I feel happy, because I'm actually back to myself again.

I took a walk today, it was a great one too. I walked all the way to Sebree Park, and hung out there for a while. The entire time, I was smiling, it brought me back.

There is someone I should apologize to, I feel really bad, because we really haven't been talking as much. She says that she never kissed him. Well, I kissed her. As much as she thinks I'm an insensitive asshole, it's probably true, but she has always tried.

Nelapsi, I'm sorry. I have met someone who has helped me along the way, though we didn't last, we did as friends, and we should continue to. Call me, but not tonight, I work. Or just show up to my work.

I think I'm going to put a song on this entry. I have to think of a good one, hold on.

This love - Pantera

If ever words were spoken

Painful and untrue

I said I loved but I lied

In my life

All I wanted

Was the keeping

Of someone like you

As it turns out

Deeper within me

Love was twisted and pointed at you

Never ending pain, quickly ending life --

(Chorus)

You keep this love, thing, child, toy

You keep this love, fist, scar, break

You keep this love

I'd been the tempting one

Stole her from herself

This gift in pain

Her pain was life

And sometimes I feel so sorry

I regret this the hurting of you

But you make me so unhappy

I'd take my life and leave love with you

I'd kill myself for you, I'd kill you for myself --

(Chorus)

No more head trips

How about another one?

"Prosthetics" - Slipknot

Even if you run... I will find you

I decided I wanted you

Now I know...I need

If you can't be bought, tougher than I thought

Keep in mind - I am with you

Never left out fate, can't concentrate

You will be mine!

Ah, fucking you will be mine!

Ah, fucking you will be mine!

Ah, fucking you will be mine!

I found you

Leanin' out of an open window

You laughed (my fingers clenched)

Too perfect, far too careless

I couldn't help myself - I just took you

Dammit man I knew it was a mistake

(You brought it outta me)

Better make yourself out home

You're here to stay

You won't bother me...If you let me bother you

All the doors are locked, all the windows shut

Keep in mind - I watch you

Never leave my side, never leave me, fucker

Even if you run

What the fuck is different? Man, I can't believe I'm doin' this

Dammit man I knew it was a mistake

(You brought it outta me)

sign my guestbook and give me info,

Love to all

Flower

4:40 p.m. - 2003-03-16

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